da Spwing Fair, pt 3

Hello again, did effery have a good Thanksgiving?  Burrrrrrrrrrrrp, ummmmm ‘scuse me, still a bit full here, I do luff my turkit!

So anywho, now that that is done, let’s get back to the spring fair…Well now, the next event seems to be the six-legged race.  Let’s take a peek and see how that is going..

:::so anyway, Pepper takes the rope and ties two of hims legs tightly to shorty’s two legs and they stand there all strapped togedder waiting for the contest to start. Surely there will be some competitors think shorty and Pepper. To kill some time waiting, Pepper and Shorty decide to do a quick trial run so Pepper shouts “On You Mark!! Get Set!! Go!!” and off fly Shorty dragging Pepper and hims face is plowing up the earf!! “Halp!” screems Pepper all muffled in the dirt. Shorty run like the wind and don’t even notice that Pepper is not running but being dragged along like a limp rag behind her. She screeches to a halt at the finish line all huffing and puffing and beaming like a chesire cat thinking she must haff just set a personal best record for distance run!! Meanwhile, Poor pitiful, innocent Pepper is all dirty and look like something the cat just dragged in (very literally!!). Shorty turn and finally see Pepper and she think a little more practice in order so she help Pepper to hims feet and they drag themselves back to the starting line for a few more trial runs before the odders get here::::
—–
Pepper (one, fine, little dood)

When they get backto the starting line,they find Maria and Andre there, seems they have been checking effer ten minutes to see iffun other contestants gonna show up.

Maria, Andre, we bin dooin dat too….maybe we awl jus missin eachuffer…wanna wun a pwaktise wap wit us wile we waitin?
Oh Pepper kwit wineing bout da durt up yur nose, now bwush yurself off, yu wuuk a site…….
Sammywhee strolls up , wheeing that they had gotten sidetwacked by the baloon ride and the tatoo parlor.  Gonzo finally shows up and he and sammy prepare fur the race…


Sammywhee, you is runnink the 3 legged race wiff me and the horse race wiff miss chiff.

So strap your back leg to my back leg wiff this here rope and your fron leg to my front leg wiff this here rope and then lets go hang out at the starting line wiff Mijo and However Mijo is runnink wiff, and Pepper and shorty, and Maria and Andre.

Hmmm, these straps aint big enough to fir around the two of us. We toooo big! Well, we will just have to use mommy and daddy’s belts.

::::Gonzo adjusts the two belts on the front and back legs of the two and Team Coony is ready to role……:::::::

Gonzo and Sammywhee wait for the starting gun…… BOOOOMMMMM!!!!

And they are off! Gonzo and Sammywhee waddle around the track, appearing to be in last place…… But wait! I am wrong! Pepper and Shorty are a length behind them. It seems that Shorty is worn out from dragging Pepper in practice runs and Pepper is having to mouth breath because of all the dust and dirt shoved up his nose from shorty draggin him.

It is Maria and Andre right now in front by quite a distance, which is amazing with Andre’s disabilities. But Maria told him that she has a special surprise for him at the end of the race and Andre just loves surprises!

There are a few other teams in the middle and there are still 6 more laps around the track. This race is anyones…… Except for maybe Shorty and Pepper, but they are giving it the ole Meow chat COllege try so we will just have to wait and see…….

On the third lap, Shorty spots Munchie sittin in the bleachers rooting them all on and waves as she and Pepper go by.

Shorty an Pepper stwuggle awong in wast pwace, Shorty is muttering an hissspiting, dat dadgum Gonzo an Sammywhee, hows a kit sposed to wun an keep der pants on witawt a belt..akkkk Pepper is down, bwitches wound his ankuls, lavendar silk bwoomers xsposed fur awl da wurld to see. But Shorty pays no mind, hur eye fixt on Gonzo an Sammy…….Maria and Andre be rite behing Pupper and Sammy, but dey are getting furry tired. It seems dis race iss going on fur a long, long time! But they iss still young, so who knows…maybe…Well, all of a sudden GOnzo looks around and he and Sammy (who is now tied to him and in his pocket at the same time), must have pulled way ahead of everykit because there is no longer anykit in sight at all. GOnzo and sammy win the race and get a trophy and a dozen eggs and a package of moobits and a box of ritz crackers.

GOnzo heads off to the recipe tent because he thinks those three ingredients would make a fine appetizer. Dats wat yu tink big boy growls Shorty as she cumms up behind Gonzo a gwabs his tayul…Gonzo cums to a ded stop an suddenwy effuryting cums into focus onse again…he watches stunned as Shorty speeds by dwaggin a barely conshus Pepper who by now has totulwy wost his britches an whos silk lavendar bwoomers awr weady fur da wag bag…….:::well, so, but, anyway, Pepper (down to hims skivies), hims face dragging along in the dirt, feels like there must be more to this game than it appears at the moment. Him just hope that with any luck they will cross the finish line even if it in last place just for the mercy of it all being over with… soon. Him never gonna volunteer for this kind of race ever again, but that neither here nor there. Pepper just go limp and allow Shorty to drag him along and hims hope hims lavender boxer shorts stay intact….:::

And as every kit nears the finish line thinking that they have this race in the bag…..and not naming any names but Gonzo comes to mind……..
they don’t notice that Nicky and Harley…..the 6 legged race champions 3 years running….are sitting smugly in the winners chair nibbling on pretzels and guzzling catnip beer to beat the band. “What took you kits so long to finish this here race? We been here for days!” :::::::::Andre and Maria come in 65th, but beeing young and in love, Maria decides to give Andre his surprise anyway.

MOL, now I wunder just what that surprise was, meeheehee….moofing on, da next stop is da loudest meow and yodeling contest…and here is a report on that by Gonzo…

 

Henry….Simba…Travis….Tigger…Bob….Maddie….Ashum all purrrpare for the yoddelink contest.

Henri does a practice and breaks 2 water glasses. Simba does a practice and breaks one glass and one cereal bowl. Travis stuffs big cotton balls in his humungous ear holes and cracks one window. Maddie sings out a melodic tune and doesn’t go for volume, as much as tone and melody this year. She puts on a fine performance.

Ashum steps up to the platform and attempts his yodel. A high Maine coon squeek and chirp comes out and all the kits around laugh their tails off. Ashum starts to tear up a bit, and gonzo jumps in and claps his paws together wildly for his buddy ashum.

That was a fine comedic yodeling routine you did for the competition! we never ever had an entry like that! It is sure to win somefing for sure ashum! Encore Encore!!!!!!

Ashum wipes away his tears and gives out annother maine squeek and chirp and all the kits clap wildly for him as well. He steps down and gives gonzo a big mushy kiss between the ears for understanding.

Bob, a new comer to the competition goes up and gives it the ole college try. No kit knows what to expect.

Bob breaks 17 car windows, a set of beautiful china plates and gonzo’s life size ceramic white hephalum donated to the white hephalump auction.

::::tigger looks over at Bob:::::::;;

Quite a set of Pipes there you got Bob. Let me introduce myself to you. My name is Tigger and I run the safety siren business in town. Here is my business card. When there is a town emergency I have to climb the 700 foot radio tower behind the leaning tower of Pizza and put out a loud howl to alert all of the townspeople.

I am looking for an apprentice, being that I am getting up in years and I am not really fond of heights as well.

If you want a job give me a call.

Now step back and let a pro show you how it is done…….

:::::Tigger puts out a blood currdling howl and the fire departments and police departments and the marines from 5 villages surrounding send out crews because they hear the safety siren go off in the meow chat village and think for sure they are needed…….

Bob bows to Tigger and kisses her paws!!!

Okeedokee, beat that everykit
—–
Gonzo, Tigger, and Stumpy

Once hur ears stop winging an hur hearing weturns to sumwat normal, an awl da mergency vehicals haf been sent bak, Shorty cunsults wit Bandit offur da winner uf dis contest..Shorty steps up in fwont uf da cwoud, atenshun pwease,atenshun pwease,ATTENSHUN PWEASE..tank yu. Now, we had a hawrd time desiding, effury was ferry dood. We nawwoed it down to two,Tigger an Bob. Sinse dis is a amatoor contest an Tigger is a pwofresshunal we have desided to make Bob awr no.1 lowdest meower dis year. Concatulations Bob , take a bow. Tank yu awl fur pawticipating an bettur luuk nexks year..

(shorty do get a bit offishus sumtimes)

Next up ish da gurl kits loudest meows….

Up furst is Shorty, wit Pepper and seben kittlins, she has had plenty of practice,fur shure..

Shorty steps up fwont an center, memememe,yodoleehoooo,memememe..otay i weady now.

PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Da leefs fawl off da twees an da gwound shakes a bit…..Yu meowed deer,meows Pepper skreeching to a halt neckst to Shorty, hope I dint keep yu waiting..Next up is Meadow Catnip.:::::Meadow walks up and clears her throat. She looks for Beau and sees he is standing in the wings watching her and she smiles. One…two…deep breath…….three…….
Out comes the loudest MEEZER meow that any kit will ever hear. Beau falls bacwards on his keester from the sheer volume of that meow. He never knew Meadow had it in her. The other kits stand in awe of Meadow’s meezer meow:::::::Mamacita comes up next and looks at hur Titan. Hur meow iss a furry loud meezer meow, but doesn’t equal Meadow’s meow. Cita tells Meadow dat she really iss da queen ob meezer meows so far.

Bandit holds hiss paws ofur hiss ears an wonders if he will effur be able to hear again. Otay, Ladies, it wass close but the bloo ribbon goes to Shorty. In second place iss Meadow an third iss Mamacita. Bandit gifs the bloo ribbon an a gold water bowl to Shorty. You must haf a lot ob practice yelling at all you kits an dat hubbykit ob yurs. Concatulashuns. Bandit gifs Meadow the red ribbon fur second place. He also gifs hur a silver water bowl. Concatulashuns. It wass furry hard to decide between you an Shorty, but I fink she hass had more practice cause she broke the meter wen it went past screeeech! Then he calls up Mamacita an gifs hur a kiss onna cheek. Cita, you were sure out singed in dis competition. Here iss yur white ribbon an a bronze water bowl. Concatulashuns, little sisterkit.

MOL, that musta been one noisy bunch…my earholes is ringing an I wasn’t even there…

Okeedoke, that’s it fur today…

Till next time

Willow

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