Da Spwing Fair, 2003

Hello again!  Well, now, I came akross Gramma Shortys diaries the other day and I found some gweat stuff in there….This little tale is about the Spwing Fair uf 2003.  Wowsers, I shure wish I could haff been there, it sounds like a whole lotta fun…but I gonna let you judge fur yurownselfs…

comin awt uf da mousecatching tent, Shorty an da kittlins wander on down da stweet. It such a bootiful day. Da sun be shining, da burds singin, da bees buzzy, a warm an wazy affernoon…….
dey cums to a big purple tent, Da Lavendar Gypsy, fortunes towld.
Hmmmmm, dis wuuks interwesting, Shorty tinks. She giffs da childwun sum gweenpapers to go on da mary-go-wound an steps inside……..
A widdle water, she cums awt an wuuks wound fur da kittlins…….der dey awr offur at da Ferris Wheel waitin der twurn. Dey such dood kits, ornery but dood she tinks wit a smile. But den wit me an Pepper fur pawrents dey cums by dat orneryness honestwy. Gwansing awound she spies a small boof akwoss da stweet… Hmmmmmmmmm, I donts tink I nose dat kit, maybe sumone noo in da village. She stwolls offur to meow hewwo…wy Daisy, I dint wekognize yu fwum kwoss da stweet…tings seem kinda swo here..I bet da kitlins wood wike dis contest..an Shorty sines dem up fur da Purring Contest..

Da childwun haff finised der wide an da widdle gwoup moofs on….At da moosik boof, Shorty stops to make a wekwest. Poucette, wood yu pway my fafowit song, Kitten on da Keys…….

den on down da stweet dey wander………. to da Lavendar Gypsys Fortune Telling booth

::well, so, but, anyway, when Shorty comes into the lavender gypsy fortune teller kit’s tent, Pepper is pleasantly surprised that Shorty does not recognize her own hubbykit. He didn’t realize that Shorty did not know up until this time that he also “worked” at fortune telling. Anyway, he tells her to sit down please at the little card table and he sits across from her and draws the magic eight ball close to hims chest. He peers inside and while doing so, hims eyes get sleepy and hims hum a little mantra to get him ownself in the fortune-telling mood. And, then he begins……:::

Hmmmmmm, Hmmmmmm, Hmmmmmm, it says here in my trusty, yet reliable, magic eight ball that you iz a very sweet and lovely kit, Miss…. what is your name again, Miss? Oh yes. Miss Shorty. It says that you iz married to a wonderful, handsome, generous, brillant, intelligent, kind, good-looking, kit named … um, something that starts with the letter ‘P’. It says here that you and this “P” fellowkit haff tons and tons of great little childrenkits and that they is just like they daddee in every way. It says that there are many more childrenkits yet to come in your lifes. You will have a big fambly. Maybe even make the Guiness World Record book for most kittens had by two cats. But, that neither here nor there. It says that you iz bound to be a healthy and spry cat all of your whole long life. It says that youse lucky colors is lavender and pink. It says that youse lucky numbers iz 0 and 00. It says that other kits look to you for your common sensical advice. It says that you iz very popular, but youse hubbykit is very handsome and koot. It says that you should not beat him with youse parasol. It says that you should give him hugs and kisses 100X a day and make him lots of hims favorite foods. It says you iz reel lucky to have found this kit what name begins with the letter “P”. Well that it Miss… what you name again?? Oh yes!! Miss Shooty. That will be $25.00. If you want more fortune, you got to pay more. Well, nice chatting with you. You can see you ownself out. Bye!!!

:::and with that, Shorty leafs the gypsy fortune teller kit’s tent and meanders around in a daze looking for her beloved hubbykit, Pepper, and those kittens what be scattered all over the village. Later, then. Love, Ppper
—–
Pepper (one, fine, little dood)

Shorty passes Gramma Munchie on hur way in to get her fortune told as she leaves the tent, and dicides to stick around and listen…she spies Gonzo heading into the tent behind Munchie and hears a loud ooooooooooooooomf, as he plops hisownself on Munchies lap.   At last she hears voices..

Shorty watches as Gonzo an Munchie leave the meowing together.  They are busy discussing what kind of pwesents they should get for Poki, since he is the only kit they can think of whose name starts with P…and then another kit slips into the tent…none offur then Travis.

::well, so, but, anyway, alla sudden the lavender gypsy fortune teller kit got more bizness that hims can handle. First in the tent is Travis and Pepper motions for him to haff a seat while Pepper gets in the mood. Him hum to himself and allow hims eyes to close half-way. He begin…:::

Hmmmmmm, Hmmmm, Hmmmmm, Ummmmm, it says here that you iz one very fine dood, Travis. It says that you haff much potential and will go far in your life; which will be mighty long, btw. It says that you haff had some hard time physically in the past but those days are now over and you can count on being well for a great long while. Or was that youse brudderkit, Rexy? No matter. You both gonna be fine now and have good lifes ahead of yous. It says here that you iz very fond of a lovely ladykit whose name begin with the letter “M”. Do you know her, Travis?? Her reel nice and she gots a kind and lovely and intelligent and handsome and generous and koot sonkit, btw, but that neither here nor there. It says that youse lucky colors are taupe and forest green and wedgewood bloo and beige. It says that youse lucky numbers are 52. That it. One lucky number of 52. It says that you should consider going into finance as you haff a reel head for numbers and mathematics. Well, that it, Travis. Off you go now. That will be five bucks please. Next!!!:::
—–
Pepper (one, fine, little dood)

followed by…

::in walks purty, sweet Maria of whom Pepper does not know so well. Pepper asks her right off the bat iffn she is engaged, married, or otherwise attach. Maria suggests that she is very fond of a kit named “Andre”. Pepper eyebools open very wide because him know of Andre and didn’t know that somebuddy was harboring a crush on hims. Him a reel nice kit, but that neither here nor there. Pepper peer into hims magic eight ball and begin Maria’s fortune…:::

I see here in this magic eight ball that youse is a lovely gurlkit with many many good friends. They treasure you for your sincere and loyal personality. You a very honest and trustworthy kit and tell it like it is. You like to travel ~ to other rooms. You find comfort in simple things. You lucky colors is yellow and pale bloo. You lucky numbers is 8 and 80. You like warmth and sunshine. You iz not a night owl. You think best in the daylight hours. You are very creative and could be a bestselling authorkit if you put you mind to it. That all for now, Miss Maria. I hope that you and Andre can develop your budding relationship and find a future togedder.:::

::with that, Pepper sees Maria to the door and when hims closes it after she gone, him sit down and write a short note to hims good friend, Andre. The note says this: “dEr ANdRE. It MI, PoivRE. CaLL a One MIss mAriA NobLeCat. SHe Lik U verY mUcH.” and Pepper rushes to the post office to mail the note to Andre.:::
—–
Pepper (one, fine, little dood)

She sees Ashley and Nicky Catnip coming her way and thinks this might be a dood time to leave.  As she passes by them she hears them wunnering iffun the Lavandar Gypsy can tell them which horsie is gonna win the second race…

Shorty an da kittlins wandur on down da lane luuking at da boofs an xhibits awong da way…Tessie yanks on Shortys skirt, mommy, mommy wuuk,wuuk, dar be a mouse catching contest, mommy, mommy, can we, pweese mommy, can we, huh, mooooooooommmmmmmy!

Awwite Shorty meows wets go chek it awt…inside da tent awl is kwiet…wets see, otay heer is da sineup sheet, yesh a few names aweady,Mummy Munchie, Quentin, GonzoBonzo, an unkle SammyWhee,otay kits put yur pawpwints heer too. Meehee, shood we put daddys name on da wist,meehee…..

maybe we shood stwart a pool on wefur or not Pepper gonna surfife dis fare……MOL..

Stormy Weather comes into the mouse catching tent. She meows wif Shorty about signing up fur the contest. she used to haf to catch mice an lizzards to eat so she wudn’t starf before she went to hur foreber home wif the Texcats. She a pretty good mouser too as the mousies in Texcat are furry small. Shorty meows hut into signing up fur the mouse catching contest. Stormy says dat Shorty iss the furstest furriend she hass made in da billage cause hur iss a feral kit and afraid ob eberyting.

Well Stormy, dat a luffly ting fur yu to meow, but doodness der nuffink in da village to be fwaid uf, it be da best pwace on earf…yu gonna make wots uf fwends weel soon…meehee,


::::::gonzo sneaks quietly up on Stormy Weather, so as not to startle her and then he trips on the furs between his toes and knocks over a whole exhibition of antique teacups of Muffins that all go crashink to the ground. Stormy goes flyink up into the air and hangs by all four feets with her clawsies attached to the ceilink!::::::

Mehehehehe, sorry Stormy weather! memehehe. Jump down, I will catch you.

::::::Stormy reluctantly lets go of one paw at a time and lets GOnzo catch her. Right at that moment Gonzo sneezes and turns his head and Stormy drops right on top of him knocking him over splat.::::::::

Stormy starts shaking (convulsing more like) and Gonzo attemps to calm her down.

Sorry stormy, boy bad luck for you kind of works like when it rains it pours. memehehehe . Get it? rainink, pourink, and Stormy Weather! memehehehe I cwack myself up sometimes!

Well, I camed over cuz I wanted to formerly introduce myself to you and offer to be one of you best new friends in the whole wide world. I am friends wiff GusGus and he can be a good reference for me. SOrry for scarink you. I hopes you will be my new friend.

::::gonzo hands stormy some moobits and a fake furry mouse to practice with:::::::::

Maybe since you are a kit wiff experience you can teach me how to catch a real live mousee. I used to have toy mousees but I do not have them no more. I am deathly afraid of the mousees cuz a mousee on a string attacked me when I was a kittun and mommy had to remoof them all from da house. I am good at catchink lizards and bugs and my brudder stumpy, so maybe I can do it…..but I am very very afraid. maybe we can get some courage togeddur.

gonzo

Bob Que is the next to sign up, he is one uf da fastest moofing kits in the village fur shure!  Munchie peeks in to see wat all da commotion is, then decides to go take a nap instead…all dat fair foodies has hur just too full to run.  As she turns to leave,  ::Twafis puts hims paws around Munchies tiny wittle waist once more an giffs her da moss romantical AbbySillyian kiss he can. He holds her an stares into her Golden Eyes wif hims handsome face ~ purring fur her:::

Munchie ~ I is da worlds bestest mousie catcher. I is. I got da huntin expeedition skills down to a syunce. Wanna team up wif me for dis one?

RexyRex: I a betterer hunter dan you any day of da week, Twafis. I ain’t a SomaliSaurus REX fur nuffink!

LynnLynn: Why don’ you boys go an pway wif your toys? Leave da huntin expeeditions to us pros ~ da Ladies. I’ll beat da britchess off you wif 2 paws tied behind my back any ol day.

Ready for da mousies,
Twafis, RexyRex a LynnLynn

Zade walks up just in time to hear all the bragging…Well I not know if purrfesionals be allowed in dis contest, but where do you fink da mousies come frum fur da mouse sausage pizza????

You fink I buy dat from some old butcher shop??? I fink not!!!

::: signing up::::

Zade

memehehehe Zade! I gets my mice from Jack and Sebastians Pet store next to the mice cweem shop. I neffur thought of how much money I could save iffin I was not so afraid of micees and caught them myownself.

Gonzo

I haven’t had much practice catching real mice since I’m indoors, but I can attack beauvarts with a vengeance! I also get a lot of practice chasing Star around, so I should do OK in this contest.
Quentin

Hay, Gonzo Bonzo!
I get my mousies an ratties frum dat Jack an Sabastian’s pet shop too! I don’t haf time, wif my baking an being a hubbykit to my Shy, to do frivolous things like go mousie hunting!
GusGus

::::Sammywheesal comes waddle ing up dwaggin a HOOGE stuffed mousie

Hey effurwhee!!! Looky wat mhee Anastasia cawt!!! Duz dis count??? Whees eefun gots peeksoors of hurs “catsin” it… HHW

::: Sammy pools owt a speshul PURPULL wibbon owtsa hims pocket an asky shortstuffs iffin hims an Natasha’s kiddens coold purrwhees win dis wibbon (not da REAL one) cuz him lufs hims familwhee soooo muches, an its woolds makes dem soooo happpwhee::::

Wow, all dis meowing bout bobs an such is makin me hungry.  Think I’m gonna head on out fur now..see ya next time.

Willow.

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