Hi der, seems like a long time, no meow. But here I is and I got some more tayuls fur you! So, let’s get dis show on da road…..
“If laughter is the best medicine, then a kitten is the purr-fect prescription. A kitten’s antics will make you smile, help you forget your worries, and bring happiness to your day.”
Now ain’t dat da twoof! And us older kits aren’t ‘sactly slouches in those departments either. Thanks fur those meows of wisdom, gramma Pou. A wise kit you are. Gramma Poucette is also furry musically inclined. She teaches the kitlins to play all kids of instruments, having taken offur the job from great gramma Minnette. And she plays at all the weddinks. In hur younger days she worked on the Village newspaper, had hur own column effun, called Poucettes Purrings! Yup, a furry talented ladykit is my gramma Pou.
Meowing bout news, got a bit uf happy ending real world news to tell ya. Da Catnip famblys mom runs da A Home At Last cat rescue up in Lawn Guyland, (Long Island) , Mew York, with a couple of friends. Now dey go out trapping feral kits and where possible, taming dem down and finding dem homes. Or if not tameable, then spay/neuter/release. Anywho, a couple days ago dey found a young kit up in a tree. It was there for three days, and they called and they called and they called all kinds of folk to try to get dem to help them get the kitten down, with no luck but bad. Finally they found a tree company dat agreed to come to the rescue. The kittlin is down and being cared for by da ladies. And we think dat dose fellas at Tim-A-Tree in East North Point Lawn Guyland deserve a big round uf appawse! (applause). Well done Tim Sr. and Tim Jr. !
Remember when Goalie NYC went to the bridge shortly before kitmas? Goalie was an only kit and hur mom, Aunty Faye was left kitless. Such a sad thing for the hollydays. Now of course MCV is a place for animals, so what were all the furs to do? They all loved Aunty Faye and didn’t want to lose hur. Well a meeting was called and a vote was taken. All the furries contributed their extra furs to donate to her so she wouldn’t feel out of place, and that is how Aunty Faye became the furst fishtail, (official, from the wheespeek dialect), don’t ask, human kit with full village privileges. There is one other human kit in the Village, Unka John. When he retired to Hawaii he sadly gave his beluffed Tita to another village family, rather than put her through the rigors of the long trip and very long quarantine.
Some prime examples of Calicotude! Remember when Meadow Catnip went to the vet for a skin problem? The vet took skin scrapings from Meadows face and she repaid him with a good chomp! And when a vet tech got out the needles to draw blood from Narcissa NY, Narcissa in return, got out hur toofurs and claws. That one ended Narcissa 1 , vet tech 0! Meeheehee, no shortage uf red lions on da village kits charts!
A bit more bout Miss Narcissa. She was a holy terror fur sure! Her human family fostered da babykits what had to be bottle-raised, and Miss Narcissa was in charge of teaching them to hunt. She was very good at the job. She was a very smart and clever kit, too. Doors in hur house had to be kept locked. She knew how to open them and on occasion, finding one not locked, she would open it and let hurownself into the Out!
Remember when Sandy Paws’ heart attacked him and he ended up in da MCV Horspittal and couldn’t make his Kitmas deliveries? Perseus, Sirius and the gang borrowed Sammys teleporter, did a bit of tinkering and delivered the presents for him. They also hoped it would put Pepper back together after his disastrous teleporter trip. The one where there was a malfunction and Pepper ended up in a gazzillion pieces. Now, one Pepper is hard nuff to deal with, but hundreds of them, shuddering at the thought. Eventually Pepper was able to gather up all his “twins”, roll them into a big ball and swallow it. Problem solved.
Now not all da kits in the village celebrate Kitmas, some celebrate Chanukah. Among them are Grampa Nortee and South Flawida Sam. They decided to have a Chanukah party and invited all the other villagers to come on down and join them for a few days of fun in the sun. All offur da village furs were dragging out swim suits and summer clothes to pack in their bags and heading off to south Flawida. Good food and fun in the sun, what more could a furry ask . Did I mention good food? The furs begin to arrive, Dr. Maxie Rose brings her pawmade appulsauce to go with da latkes. Da Whees arrive with kitmas matzoh ball shoup, your guess is as good as mine, food coloring maybe. Sam and Nortee been doing lots of cooking, too, and there is nuff food to feed an army. But da way these furs eat, yu need nuff to feed an army. Shorty and Pepper arrive wit the kittlins. While Shorty heads to the kitchen to help out and the kittlins go out to play, Pepper flops in front of the tv. Gramma Munchie, also known as the Munchinator, makes her way through the buffay,( buffet). Shorty is invited to park her parasol in the umbrella stand, where she is assured it will be quite safe, and a whole lot safer for the rest of us, several are thinking.
The party proceeds, everyone is having a wonderful time, eating, swimming, snoozing in the sun, eating. And then, Shorty calls out, “Pepper, Pepper you better come, I don’t feel so good.” Shorty looks around for a nice quiet place. There she thinks, behind the couch. Pepper, out in the pool practicing his butterfly stroke for the summer Olympkits, hears her and comes running. He finds her behind the couch. “Akkkkkkkkkkkkkk,” he screeches, seeing her huffing and puffing and panting in distress. “Shorty is in labor! Our twins are coming!” He sees that it is too late to get Shorty to the horspittal and calls for Dr. Maxierose to assist. Having calmed a bit, Pepper starts to think, never a good thing. ” Too bad she couldn’t have waited for Mew Years,”he muses. ” But, then they are not here yet. Maybe she can keep dis labor thing going anuffur fifty hours or so. Then they could be the Mew Years babys we been searching for.”
Gonzo, overhearing Pepper, meows, “That’s it Shory, hold dem in till Mew Years. Or maybe we can use da teleporter to transport us ahead.” After these meows of encouragement, Gonzo turns to the others, Shorty has quite an audience by now, and tells them how since Pepper and Shorty are tired of coming up with names for all his brofurs and sisfurs, this time he got to name them. And he had decided their names would be Achoo and Blessyu. He really wanted to call one of them Gesundheit, but he couldn’t figure out how to spell it.
Meanwhile, back behind the couch, Shorty continues to puff and pant, feeling pretty bad by now, when suddenly she lets out a loud burp. And efferything comes to a halt. She gets up and heads for the buffay asking, “What’s fur dessert? I hope there is some of that honey cake left.”
“On, no you don’t, Shorty. Your not getting out of this!” Pepper meows , as he drags her back behind the couch. Seeing this, Grampa Nortee pulls Pepper away from her, smacking him upside the head. “There is not gonna be any violence at MY Chanukah party!”
Pepper goes off to a corner to sulk. He dabs at his eyes with his little blue hankie, the one with the snowmankits on it and the tatting around the edge. “What bout gettin in all the noospapers fur hafing the first kittlins of the Mew Year? What bout going on Jay Lenokit and that David Lettermankits shows with da twins? What bout all the stores sending kittylitter and toys for the first five years. What bout dat, huh?” Pepper is as depressed as a bunch of sardines without a can, whateffur dat means. “Der gots to be a way!”
Remember Madam Altos Cathouse? No, not that kind of cathouse, shame on you! Madam Altos Cathouse was a website, sadly lost, created by the very talented human mom of one of the villagers, Captain Video, CV for short. CV is the village batchelorkit, having managed to evade meowraige even though he has charmed many a village cutie. Madam Alto created adventures starring many of the villagers, in pictures and words. Effery was always happy to have a part in one of these escapades. Ya nose, we actually have a surprising amount of talent in the village moms, in a number of areas, ranging from crafters right on up to science whizzes…yu name it and we probably got it.
Remember Poucettes goggie song?
Dog tags ring, are ya listenin’?
In the lane, the snow is glistenin’.
It’s yellow not white,
I’ve been there tonite,
Markin’ up my winter wonderland.
Smell that tree? That’s my fragrance.
It’s a sign for wand’rin’ vagrants;
“Avoid where I pee,
It’s my property
Marked up as my winter wonderland.”
In the meadow Dad will build a snowman,
Following the classical design.
Then I’ll lift my leg and let it go, man,
So all the world will know that it is mine!
Straight from me to the fencepost,
Flows my natural incense boast-
“Stay off of my turf,
This small piece of earth,
I marked it as my winter wonderland!”
Dis be some of da village talent…these were created by Sammywhees mom!
Okeedoke, dat’s it fur now…jusht saw my bedtime snack runnin by!